Awesome ones,
I’m gonna level with you.
I’ve been procrastinating. I’ve been uhming and ahing and putting this first newsletter off for weeks. Then it hit me!
I’ve been letting my Inner Perfectionist- Little Miss Perfect- run the show. AGAIN.
I wanted to give you the perfect start! A newsletter that would tick all the right boxes! With exactly the right pitch, a structure to die for, something that would equal, oh I don’t know, Cheryl Strayed’s Dear Sugar columns!
“Oh and for goodness’ sake, make sure it’s damn funny too”, Little Miss Perfect would add, standing guard in my mind, watching my every typo.
Aaaah perfectionism. What a … perfect… place to start.
First, are you part of the club? I’ll give you a badge of welcome if you can claim some of the following traits as yours:
all-or-nothing thinking
highly critical (especially of self!)
pushed by fear (of anything less than perfect)
unrealistic standards
focused only on results
depressed by unmet goals
fear of failure
procrastination
defensiveness
low self-esteem
Perfectionism can also be our striving for everything to be “just so” before we can write, sing, dance, publish, launch our businesses, start a relationship, eat, go out in public, swim in the ocean, you name it- and it is the death of us.
Where it dwells, Creativity daren’t go. And Creativity means Life, in all its messy, rich, chocolate-all-over-the-chin, just-ran-through-the-forest-to-escape-a rabid-wolf-pack-and-fell-flat-on-my-face-in-a-stinky-swamp glory!
Let’s face it: women are still, by and large, socialised to be agreeable and lovely, to get the good grades, to be good girls and look good being them in all circumstances. Is it any wonder we should beat ourselves up every time we feel we don’t measure up to those impossible ideals society holds us up to while still, often unconsciously, striving for them?
So tell me, brilliant ones, how many more boxes do we need to tick, how many more degrees do we need to collect- or pounds to lose, accolades to gain, perfect pics to take- before we know ourselves worthy?
Venus says, Break Free From That Perfectionist S***t.
Write a terrible poem. (Especially if you take writing seriously.) Share it in the comments? :-D
Take the worst picture ever. (Have fun with it. No filter. Bad lighting. Make it THE WORST. I dare you.)
Go shopping without make-up (If that’s a “thing” for you.)
Be like my kick-ass flatmate and dare to wildly improvise in the kitchen, even if the result doesn’t get you a place on the Masterchef’s auditions’ auditions.
List ten things that make your Inner Little Miss Perfect shudder- and do one of them today.
Make your life UNINSTAGRAMMABLE.
And for the love of Venus, show up for that coffee date with your best pal even if your life’s a mess right now and she just got married/ bought a yacht/ got her PhD/ won an Academy Award. You get the Best Mess Award! Yes, you!
We’re all imperfect, complex, brave, scared, embracing life one day and hiding under a duvet the next, learning, growing, traversing seasons, enduring the weather, facing sometimes unimaginable challenges, getting back out there, trying again. How inspiring are we???
So, brilliant ones, next time you meet that Inner Little Miss Perfect, welcome her with compassion, then give her your sassiest wink before you lace up your skates and give the ice rink of life one more go- holding on the sides, laughing, ugly crying, still not managing the full circle without falling, ah well, maybe next time, at least we’ll get hot chocolate when we’re done. She’ll squirm and cringe and cover her eyes, but you, my friend, will at least be having the time of your life.
Until next time!
Dri & Venus
Have a terrible poem you wanna share, or just liked the post?
PS: Want further readings on perfectionism? Check these articles out!
On perfectionism and gender: https://theprogressclub.co/blog/what-causes-perfectionism
On the good and bad sides of perfectionism: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/perfectionism
On perfectionist traits: https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-may-be-a-perfectionist-3145233
What a beautiful introduction that deeply resonates! So happy to be a part of your community here! 🎉
Woohoo! Your first post! Congratulations!!! I love what you're doing here and am excited to come along with you on this journey with Venus. 🔮💜🙌🏻